Matchmaker

In the recent episode of How I Met Your Mother we have Ted going to a local matchmaker (Love Solutions) to help him find the best match for him.This matchmaker has a reputation of being the very best in town with a 100% success rate. ted is reluctant at first because he see going to a matchmaker as giving up. But after some expected encouragement from his friends he decides to go through with it. Barney accompanies him seeing it as an opportunity to met lonely and desperate women. Barney pretends to be this sensitive, lonely, and compassionate man but is quickly found out by the founder of Love Solutions. He is kicked out by her but Ted remained. She saw potential in Ted and guaranteed that she will find him a match. However after three days she is unable to find Ted an available match.

His only match is a women who is engaged to be married. Of course this does not stop Ted from going to meet her. Using the information he acquired, by stealing her profile print out, he tries to woo her. This quickly proves useless as she is fully committed to going through with the marriage. She convinces him not to give up looking despite the fact that the matchmaker couldn't help him.

I don't to many people personally who have been set up through a "matchmaker." I know I have been on the end if being set up a few times and every time it did not work out very well. Single people everywhere are looking for that special someone and at times they have well meaning friends who try to help them. We as believers who are in search for that special someone turn to God in our journey. I constantly look to God for wisdom in this manner. But is making God the divine "matchmaker" appropriate? Now I believe that God care about us, I mean the very hairs on our head are counted. But when I hear the words "God has someone special in line for me." I struggle thinking of him as a matchmaker. I believe that his teaches us his ways and guides us into maturity so that we may make wise choices in every manner, especially relationships.

People often quote the Adam and Eve story that God brought Eve to Adam. This is enough reasoning to conclude that God will bring us our partner. Though I see some validity in this argument, we must recognized that they were the only two at the time. We can let ourselves be over taken by such thoughts and not be active in our self growth and improvement.

Moving on into Maturity

In this weeks episode of How I Met Your Mother we have the classic case of trying to reclaim your youth.

Robin has just gotten on the covenantal VIP list at the hottest club in town. She invites Ted and Barney along. She wants to introduce Ted to her a friend and Barney, as usual, was going to pick up what he calls "cutlets" (his term for women). Marshall is offended that he and Lily were not invited. The others didn't they would be willing to go because Lily encouraged Marshall to start doing "grown up" things. So they planned a wine tasting party. Quickly, Marshall feels old and left out, so he ditches the party and follows them to the club. Lily notices Marshall's absence and chases after him. There at the club they realized that "growing up" was just not for them. They choose to continue to live their lives the way they did in college. As for the other three: Robin was denied access into the VIP room then later finds herself unable to get back into the club. Ted humiliates himself in front Robins friends and Barney unknowingly ends up "bumping and grinding" with his cousin.

Growing up is hard to do. There is a few to growing up, just think of all the responsibilities that come with it: driving, getting a job, paying bill, paying taxes, going to college, getting married, staring a family, taking care of friends and family; and for us believers, getting involved in ministry. When looking at all these things, it is fun to remember the simpler times of our life and hold onto that part. Though having a childlike spirit is admirable and encouraged by Christ, acting like a child after a certain age can be unacceptable.

Hebrew 6.1 says: Therefore leaving elementary teachings of Christ, let us press onto maturity... Everyday we are to make steps toward maturity. Whether it be emotional, mental, or spiritual maturity. This is the responsibility of every Christ follower. Unfortunately most will never make those steps toward maturity. They will continue being taught the elementary doctrine while they sit in the same pews for years. Being led by the Spirit and through careful study of the Word, prayer, and obedience to his commandments we will move onto maturity.

Zeal without Wisdom

In episode three of How I Met Your Mother we have Ted Mosby rediscovering a dress shirt which he was not too fond of some time earlier. The rediscovery of this shirt caused Ted to rethink those things which he disliked in the past and reconsider them for his future. This same mindset would be directed toward past relationships he had with women, thinking that perhaps one of his ex-girlfriends could possibly be "the one." With some help from his bar going friends, they are able to pinpoint one which they believe was the right one for Ted.

The situation is complicated by the fact that Ted broke up with this woman three years earlier on her birthday by leaving her a message on her answering machine. To her in embarrassment, the message was being left at the time of her surprise party as her guest were waiting for her arrival.

Determined to rekindle the relationship, Ted attempts to get in contact with this woman who at first is resistant but then after a few innocent and sweet gestures by Ted she agrees to go out with him again. Things seem to be going well at first, however three weeks into the restored relationship Ted decides to break up with her again. This time however doing it the mature way, in person; however timing is not necessarily on his side when he finds out that the day he decides to break up with her again is on her birthday. She does not take the news very well and the whole situation results in Ted been beat up by this woman.

Ted Mosby was in a very vulnerable state as he reminisced through the past looking for the one among his ex-lovers. At the moment of vulnerability we are susceptible to looking back to those things which were good in our pass and pursue those things in hope for happiness in the future. Such things can be beneficial to us, however if we are driven solely by emotions that are not accompanied by wisdom we can find ourselves making decisions that will ultimately be more harmful than the initial vulnerability that caused us to pursue those things.

I do not at all discount the importance of our emotions. I believe that so often we in the Christian culture demonize emotions because we determine them to be dishonest. I sincerely believe that God designed us to be emotional beings and can drive us toward his will through our emotions. However I stand on the basis that emotions need to be company by wisdom if we are to step effectively in the way in which the Father is taking us.

Proverbs 19:2 mentions that it is not good to have zeal with out knowledge or wisdom, and not to make hasty decisions. Yes, it is difficult to make wise and reasonable decisions when our emotions are on overdrive. Let us no longer be ashamed of our motions but incorporate wisdom and knowledge in the decisions that we make. It is easy to share the positive and uplifting emotions with others, yet we hide or put away the negative emotions that we don't want other people to see. We need to find trustworthy friends who we can share those negative interactions with that way we are notsulking in our grievances but lifting up one another in encouragement and in prayer, fulfilling the Lord desires for us to share our burdens with one another.

Chasing the Wind

            Episode three of How I Met Your Mother opens with our gang heading to their usual hang out place McLaren’s bar. Barney on the other hand has other ideas for Ted. It is Barney’s belief that the reason why Ted had not moved forward in his relationship with women is because he always goes to the same place with the people. So Barney takes Ted on a spontaneous adventure which first takes them to an airport where they can “pick up” someone. What Ted doesn’t know is that he just walked into one of Barney’s games to pick up women. They meet two women who are about to board a plane to Philadelphia. They buy tickets to follow them there only to find out mid-air that the two women were on their way to visit the NFL playing boyfriends. Ted ready to call it quits wants to head home, but Barney (determined to get Ted out of his rut) convinces him to hang in there and go to the house of a woman they just met. Again that situation turns out to be a flop. All in all Barney’s stunts led both of them licking the Liberty Bell and leaving them with one heck of a story.

            It was a little hard to determine a theme in this episode. The only theme I think best underlines this episode is “Chasing After the Wind.” What I mean by “chasing after the wind” is always looking for the newest or next best thing. Such a pursuit is clearly evident in our consumer dominate culture. We have to be the first to see the big movie, the first to have the upgraded gadget, the first to go here and try that, and be the first to know the next big story. One does not have to go far to see that this is the case.

            What I have observed lately is how much this world view has infiltrated not only the corporate church but also the devotion of the individual believer. This may not be necessarily in the form of waiting in line for the new Iphone or midnight showing of that movie everyone is raving about (even though we find ourselves among them at times). But all too often I hear phrases such as, “what is God’s will for my life,” or “what is the Lord telling you,” or “does God want this for me,” or “I don’t think that’s God’s will.” Pretty soon I had to ask a question to myself, when did God’s will become this secret private knowledge that one had to attain. This sounds a little to close to the Gnostic teaching which Paul spoke against.

            I don’t mean to rub anyone off the wrong way because I know the concept of God’s will is a very touchy topic but it is very important. Jesus said "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven (Matthew 7:21).” Whoever does this will are those who enter the Kingdom. What I think is an unfortunate reality is that many will go there entire lives and never really grasp the will of the Father.    

(a separate blog focusing on the will of the Father will be posted soon)

Moving On

            In episode two of How I Met Your Mother it has now been a whole week since Ted has seen Robin. He is convinced that nothing is going to happen between them and has made the decision not to call her again. That is short lived when he runs into her while she is having a drink with Marshall’s fiancée Lily at their favorite bar. After seeing Robin, Ted is now bent on making things work out again this time in the name of a casual relationship (which is all an act). He purposefully plans out ways to see her again. He concocts a spur of the moment “casual” party and just so happened to “find” himself in the same place Robin is reporting a news story.

            She accepts his invitation but fails to show up. After calling to apologize Ted decides to throw a second party the next night. Again Robin fails to show up and after apologizing again Ted decides to throw a third party the next night making it three parties in a row. Robin discovered that Ted threw all these parties just to see her again. After a romantic rooftop experience, both Robin and Ted agree that they both want different things in life. Now they agree to just be friends and Robin makes it her goal to find Ted a wife.

            One theme that hits home comes at the end of the episode and that would be the theme of “moving on.” Moving on is one of the hardest things a person can do, especially when it comes to losing a loved one (either through a break up, a move, or a passing). Even though Ted just met Robin, you could tell that Ted had a hard time moving on from the thought of a future with her. It is always hard to see beyond the moment when you are grieving. It seems like the only thing you can focus on and you think that your broken heart will never be put back together. There are day you feel numb, tired, drained, and too weak to face the day.

            Psalms 147:3 states He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. We have a loving heavenly Father who cares about the hearts of his children. We can take comfort in his presence and feel free to express our grievances to him. The pain of loss we experience today is only for this age and will have no place in the age to come. Revelation 21:3-4 states “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Oh, what a glorious time that will be and how I anxiously await the coming of that age.

The One

            Ted Mosby’s best friend Marshal is planning to propose to his girlfriend Lily. Up to this point the three of them have always been a group. Ted is having a hard time adjusting to the change thinking he will be pushed out of the picture once Marshal and Lily “tie the knot.” Trying to cope with the changing season, Ted seeks the advice of another friend named Barney. Barney who under the assumption that he is Ted's best friend is a social suit wearing womanizing laser tag playing bar hopping player. They meet up at the bar and Barney shares his “wisdom” on dating and marriage then immediately initiates a little game called “Have you met Ted?” in efforts to get Ted a girl.  

            Ted is a hopeless romantic who after a losing match at “Have you met Ted?” sees Robin across the bar and at first sight believes he has found “the one.” Robin's friends are not too happy with her talking to Ted, because one of them just broke up with her boyfriend. Ted offers Robin the chance to throw a drink in his face in front of them. Robin agrees to go out with him the next evening and then throws a drink in his face calling him a jerk.

            After a successful first date, Ted is already thinking of Robin as his future wife Ted and his friends make a midnight run to Robin's apartment in efforts for Ted to kiss her. On the way there Ted steals a blue French horn from the French restaurant where they had their first date. He gets to Robin's apartment and is invited up. Things begin to go well between him and Robin but he prematurely says the words I love you. After saying I love you things seem to go south for Ted pretty quickly. But as he leaves the apartment he makes one last stand in efforts to win Robin, it was not successful.

            The biggest theme that jumps out to me in this episode is the whole concept of “the one.” At one point or another we are haunted by the question, who is “the one?” While I acknowledge that we may differ on our stance concerning this theme allow me to state my stance. I believe our understanding of “the one,” is highly influenced by fairytales which we have grown up watching, reading, and hearing. We have turned the Almighty into our “Fairy God Mother” and I hear all so often that we pray to him to bring us “the one,” rather than praying for Him to make us the best man or woman we can become, making wise and mature to make wise and mature decisions. I’ve learned a lot from my parents who have been married now for 28 years (my parents are not church goers). They taught me that commitment is greater than feelings, who you commit to in marriage is “the one,” you will never “just know” because there will always be moment where you doubt, and don’t not wait for “the one,” but look out for when a person who will go through life with you and there will come a time when you will want to make such a commitment to that person. Such advice has proved more valuable to me then people telling me “just pray and God will bring her to you.” Prayer is important and I do it often but not as I see around.

            Proverbs 19.2 speaks loudly to me in regards to this issue, the text reads: “Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.” Even though we may not acknowledge it, our emotions often overpower our reason. I include myself in everything I stated. Because I have recently and in the past made haste with my emotions I would lose my way. My prayer has always been and will be to become the Godliest man I can become and I know that my road will merge with a woman who is walking the same path as I am.